Spawn of The Secret

by Blair Warren

For those eager to learn the rest of The Secret, here’s something to tide you over until the sequel comes out.

With all the conspiracy and cover-up schemes on the part of Albert Einstein, Mother Teresa, Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi and other scoundrels, I figured at least one secret must have slipped through the cracks.  Turns out I was right.

Joe Vitale has just announced The Missing Secret.  Now, I don’t know what the “missing” secret is, but given the enormous value of the last secret, I’m glad somebody found it for all our sakes.

Hopefully this one will be the one we’ve all been waiting for.  But if it isn’t, don’t fret.  I’ve been told there are more secret-related projects in the works.  For example:

The Other Missing Secret (DVD, CD and Ph.D. for one low price)

Gotcha! - These Are The Real Missing Secrets (A hidden camera show in which seminar attendees are shocked to learn there is more to buy at the back of the room)

What Do You Know?  We Found More Secrets (A game show produced in Abraham-ese with English sub-titles)

What They Don’t Want You To Know About The Secret (A hard-hitting expose’ produced by investigative journalists Larry King and Oprah Winfrey - Executive Producer, Rhonda Byrne)

If You’ve Got The Money Honey, We’ve Got The Secrets (The most ambitious Cirque du Soleil production to date)

The We’re-Doing-This-For-the-Benefit-of-Mankind Lecture Tour (tickets start at $250)

The I-Can’t-Believe-They’re-Still-Buying-This-Crap Secret (boxed set with free fingernail and forehead glue)

Gotcha Again! (All Season 1 Episodes on DVD plus bonus 3-D glasses and Hypno-Disc)

Secretmania Live (Hulk Hogan and Rhonda Byrne battle to the death in this one-time-only pay-per-view event.)

Secretmania Live 2 - A Hogan/Byrne Rematch From Beyond the Grave

The We’re-STILL-Doing-This-For-the-Benefit-of-Mankind Reunion Tour with special guests Esther Hicks and friends (tickets start at $750)

Absolutely The Last Secret DVD We’ll Ever Produce (with 5 alternate endings - just $39.95 per DVD plus $29.95 per ending)

and of course…

Absolutely The Last Secret DVD We’ll Ever Produce Parts Two and Three

That is quite a line up of some very noble projects.  I can already feel the prosperity spreading across the planet.

So if The Secret didn’t work for you and The Missing Secret doesn’t work for you, relax.  As Joe assured on Larry King Live, there are more secrets where these came from.

Posted on Saturday, April 21, 2007 at 06:04 PM

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