Why the “dark” stuff?

I was just asked why I focus on the “dark” side of life. Do I really think the world is “defective”? Do I think life is just a big cesspool of lying and deceit?

This is a great question and is one I’ve often struggled with myself. Maybe I should just focus more on the positive and leave the negative stuff alone. Maybe I should, but I can’t. It’s just not me. And while I could literally write 10,000 words trying to address this person’s question, for now, let me just offer this:

I do not “focus” on the dark side of life. I simply incorporate it - along with the “good stuff” - into my work. It is often said that you should only focus on the positive and ignore the negative and that’s great advice. But for some people, myself included, it is only part of the equation. No matter how positive my thoughts, the dark stuff of life always finds a way of creeping up on me and demanding that I address it.

How about you?

What do you do when people lie to you? When they betray your trust? When they let you down?

Do you pretend it never happened? Do you let it destroy your faith in others? Do you let it drag you down to their level?

These are important questions because these things will happen - even to good people. Maybe even, especially to good people. The only question is, how will we deal with them when they do.

So yes, I am convinced that honest, trustworthy people can succeed in today’s world but not without encountering their share of dishonest, untrustworthy people. The real trick isn’t to pretend these people don’t exist; the trick is to acknowledge their existence and deal with them in such a way that we don’t become like them. And it is a trick that has no final answer and requires us to look in places most people would rather not go.

Posted on Thursday, July 07, 2005 at 08:53 AM

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(4) Reader Comments about Why the “dark” stuff?

John says...

Great answer to an interesting question..........

Ignoring the negative, sadly doesn’t make it go away - it really isn’t what people do or say to us in this world which matters.

What matters is how wee respond to it

Posted on 07/07/2005 at 10:35 AM

James Cook says...

Will Rogers, a famous American humorist, syndicated newspaper columnist and
philosopher of the early 20th century once said…

“A stranger is just a friend I haven’t met yet”

That’s a positive attitude, isn’t it.

A wonderful way to live life!

Does this sound Pollyannish? This positive attitude concept?

Pollyanna is a person characterized by irrepressible optimism
and a tendency to find good in everything.

Well… here’s some common sense for ya’…

bad people, obstacles, all the junk that gets in the way of our
endeavors are going to be there whether you have a good attitude
or a bad attitude.

A bad attitude just mires you deeper in the muck!

A good attitude is a stepping stone… an adjunct… a helper..
a step up to help you out of the muck!

It’s also a choice to have… an ACT OF WILL!

It’s like LOVE… for yourself!

Posted on 07/07/2005 at 11:01 AM

John R. Bedosky says...

Just read your latest posts. Here is my perspective:

To be successful, one must be willing to confront the brutal facts of reality, the “what’s so” about a particular person or situation, without losing his belief in his own ability to negotiate through all of these brutal facts or his capacity to enjoy life. Part of being successful in business, for example, is being prepared. How we prepare depends upon how well we have anticipated what can go wrong, as well as what can go right. Many people foolishly enter into business ventures (or marriages, for that matter) with an optimism that borders on delusion. They will not plan for what can go wrong, and so, when the inevitable happens, they don’t have a plan in place and often lack the critical resources to overcome the challenge.

So, I say, keep up the good work. Tell it like it IS and help us develop the wisdom we need to live great lives.

Posted on 07/07/2005 at 01:33 PM

Bud Riggs says...

Hey Blair,

I read the site update where you answered the “darkness” question. I think the person who asked has missed your whole point.

I see your writing as inviting me into a dark room, and you are giving a guided tour with a great big searchlight. “Look over there Bud, see that thing? That thing bites, and the thing beside it will tear your leg off if you give it half a chance.”

It’s one thing to have character, and integrity, yourself, but when you go out from yourself you will be dealing with the threat of snakes. It’s wise to know how to handle, or avoid, snakes.

I appreciate the time you’ve put in towards assembling this valuable information.

Bud

Posted on 07/07/2005 at 05:11 PM