Powerful persuasion tip (for those who can see it)

In The Forbidden Keys to Persuasion I teach the concept of Hidden Addictions. These are unconscious needs we have that, when fulfilled, create a strong sense of reciprocity between people.

Hidden addictions are extremely powerful, yet underappreciated, or worse, totally ignored, by almost every would-be persuader. Instead, people look for holy grail “high tech” persuasion solutions when the real keys are often simple and staring them right in the face. Here’s a case in point.

According to Lord Chesterfield, “Patience is a most necessary qualification for business; many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request.” Profound stuff. But more importantly, powerful persuasion stuff. In case you missed it, here’s why…

Being heard is a hidden addiction. That is, it is something we virtually must have - not something we would prefer, but something we crave. And when the opportunity to have this craving fulfilled presents itself, we will gladly trade the fulfillment of our other desires for this one. Or as Lord Chesterfield said, ”many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request.” And when you give a man something he really prefers, you have created a context of reciprocity and he is now in your debt.

I realize this sounds too simple. That’s because it is. But it is still an extremely powerful idea and just one example of our Hidden Addictions in action.

Don’t believe me? That’s okay. You keep searching for your “magic beans” of persuasion and I’ll just try giving people what they need. Care to guess who’ll make more points?

Note: Reciprocity, in case you weren’t aware, is one of Robert Cialdini’s principles of influence. If you’re not familiar with the concept or his work, drop everything and go buy his book Influence. It’ll cost you less than $20 and is worth many, many times that.

Posted on Friday, June 10, 2005 at 06:43 AM

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