The Law of Extraction Revealed

I’ve been asked to elaborate on the Law of Extraction which I mentioned in a recent post. Since many of you have been using the Law of Attraction trying to get this information out of me, I am, of course, powerless to say no.

But first, I must confess the Law of Extraction isn’t my idea. It was revealed to me recently by a channeled spirit named Ralph while I was trying to tune into a weak radio station.

Apparently this law has been known by great hucksters throughout history and kept hidden from the masses for nearly a hundred years. Only now is this information being made available to the general public.

May it bring you the happiness and success it has brought to countless gurus past and present.

And now, as revealed to me by Ralph, here are…

The Nine Steps of the Law of Extraction

1. Promise people something they desperately want, no matter how ludicrous it may be.

For example, promise to show people - for a price, of course - how to get everything without doing anything.

2. Make the process for achieving this sound as mysterious as possible. For example, call it a mystery or maybe even a secret.

3. Legitimize your process by quoting a scientist or two. This way you can claim your process is actually “based” on science.

4. Assure people your process is foolproof. That is, anyone can do it and it will work every time all the time. Calling it a universal law is helpful in this regard.

5. Include a universal loophole so that when the process fails you can place the blame elsewhere.

For example, “The reason it didn’t work is because you didn’t do it right. Fortunately, there are advanced techniques that can help you.”

Notice, this loophole not only deflects blame, but also creates additional revenue streams (see points 6 and 7).

6. Sell advanced techniques in the form of high-dollar, back-end products, seminars and coaching programs using a multi-level commission structure in order to maximize revenue extraction.

7. Offer high-dollar “Certification Programs” to license others to sell your process to others. Be sure to require your licensees to also pay you a sizable percentage of any future sales they may make.

8. Focus your efforts on the right target audience. As the old saying goes, you can fool some people all of the time and they are the ones you need to focus on.

9. Express gratitude at least three times a day for all the abundance the Law of Extraction is bringing into your life.

Remember, the Law of Extraction is based on the principle that hope attracts money. Take pride in knowing that you are not only creating abundance for yourself, but doing well by your fellow man.

Posted on Tuesday, February 27, 2007 at 06:04 AM

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(18) Reader Comments about The Law of Extraction Revealed

Cosmic Connie says...

Wow, Blair. This is already changing my life, and I am sure it will change countless other lives as well. You need to get to work on the DVD right now.

You probably need to spiff up your own image, though, now that you are going to be a New Wage star. First find a piece of costume bling and Super-glue it to your forehead so you’ll look spiritual and evolved. Learn to speak in a hushed and reverent tone (Aussie accent not necessary). Wear black. Remember to hang around on Maui. (But don’t party with Sri Lankan guru Tilak; I think he’s in a bit of trouble right now.)

And take your cue from other New Wage stars: be sure to mention quantum physics frequently, always with a wise and knowing nod. This will activate the Bobblehead Reflex in everyone who’s in the room with you. “Ah, yes, quantum physics!” they’ll all say knowingly.

And whatever you do, you’d better make sure you give full credit to Ralph and feature him in the DVD. You don’t want Allen Salkin coming back later and exposing your failure to properly honor the Spirit who is the Source of your wisdom.

BTW, I’ll help with your bacterial marketing campaign. Or wait, I mean viral marketing campaign. We’ll do whatever it takes to infect as many seekers as possible with enthusiasm for LOE!

Posted on 02/27/2007 at 08:26 AM

Sean Woodruff says...

Where is the PayPal button?

Posted on 02/27/2007 at 08:37 AM

Blair Warren says...

Hey guys,

Ralph just sent me another message as I was trying to listen to this morning’s traffic report.

He says all this can really be distilled into one step:

Be greedy now.

But since I’m clueless about how all this stuff really works, I’m not sure what that means.

Posted on 02/27/2007 at 08:53 AM

Halle Berry says...

Blair, the Universe whispered in my ear that you were calling for me. Or maybe that was Ralph I heard. Anyway, here I am. I’m sorry I’m not a Playboy model who goes all orgasmic over you at a Woo Age Expo, but maybe you can get some mileage out of bragging about your association with me anyway. I will be glad to appear on your LOE DVD.

Posted on 02/27/2007 at 09:09 AM

Blair Warren says...

Oh Halle, please do not be sorry you are not a Playboy model. I’m sure we can fix that.

The important thing is that we have found each other.

Give me a litte time to explain to my wife that I have “attracted something better” and I will get back with you shortly.

By the way, did you know that I a certified member of the KISS Army?

P.S. I don’t care what anyone says, I loved you in Catwoman.

Posted on 02/27/2007 at 09:25 AM

Paul says...

I just have 2 words for this post.

FRIGGIN’ BRILLIANT!!

Posted on 02/27/2007 at 09:50 AM

Cosmic Connie says...

Yes, Blair, “Major changes in life can truly be easy and effortless.” I’m sure your wife will get over it soon. And I think you and Halle will make a great couple. You’ll be every bit as photogenic as Rhonda and her “secret” love, Tilak. Ebony and ivory, living together in perfect harmony!

This is so romantic.

Posted on 02/27/2007 at 10:44 AM

Cosmic Connie says...

Oh, and for those of you wind up in a bit of legal trouble due to practicing the Law of Extraction, or if you’re just having trouble marketing your scam, I mean, your success secrets, there’s another Law: the Law of Distraction, which I blogged about here.

http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/2006/09/power-of-pretension.html

(Tilak, are you paying attention?)

Posted on 02/27/2007 at 11:08 AM

thekev says...

You forgot point 10: Extract kidneys.

Posted on 02/27/2007 at 11:33 AM

Blair Warren says...

thekev - Not so loud about the kidneys.

They aren’t supposed to know that until they reach Candy Mountain.

Posted on 02/27/2007 at 11:40 AM

Citizen Deux says...

Barnum was right!

Posted on 02/28/2007 at 08:12 AM

Tony M. says...

Blair!

I love this entry. While I know that this is satire, I just want you to know that you are closer to the actual truth than you know.

As a publisher, I’ve attended marketing seminars. Marketing IS an important part of any business endeavor. But some of the ideas that get bandied about at these seminars borders on the ... insane.

For example, if someone wants credibility, then they should declare themselves an “expert.” No credentials? No experience? No actual knowledge? So what? Just by declaring oneself an expert (or guru or high preist or whatever), people will pay attention - and very few will argue.

That being said, here’s a popular way that many marketing gurus create products that they market:

(1) They get a topic, usually one that they can cleverly entitle.

(2) They interview sundry experts about said topic, such as, let’s say, the Law of Attraction.

(3) They package the interviews into a product, such as a DVD or book - or BOTH!

(4) Market. Market. Market. Hype. Hype. Hype.

(5) Profit.

Sound familiar?

Mind you, this is what is actually taught. As Cosmic Connie would say, this is truly “New Wage.”

Have fun ... Tony.

Posted on 02/28/2007 at 08:41 AM

John Bedosky says...

Seriously, how about a LEGITIMATE and SUBSTANTIVE source of information and learning:

1. Created and run by real experts in the fields in which advice is given. If the “expert” is in marketing for lawyers, he or she must have actually been a very successful attorney, with a stellar reputation among his peers, and built his practice using the exact marketing strategies he recommends.

2. In inexpensive book form, with coaching and consulting at a reasonable (though substantial, commensurate with the value of the delivered consulting and the demand for it), results-based fee, for those who prefer or would benefit from more personal contact and accountability. No fake deadlines to create time pressure, no bonuses, just an honest value proposition.

3. A true, money-back guarantee, delivered authentically.

4. Sold mostly by referral and word of mouth.

5. Website, newsletters and blogs are fun, humorous and filled with valuable free information to allow prospective customers to satisfy themselves that you are credible.

Posted on 02/28/2007 at 11:26 AM

Andrew K. says...

6. Sell advanced techniques in the form of high-dollar, back-end products, seminars and coaching programs using a multi-level commission structure in order to maximize revenue extraction.

7. Offer high-dollar “Certification Programs” to license others to sell your process to others. Be sure to require your licensees to also pay you a sizable percentage of any future sales they may make.

Blair, you seem to have such a great knowledge of the inside workings of these guys...I am glad you are so well connected!! heh heh....I’m watching from the Background and I’ve already moved on but this is entertaining and I’m glad you’re standing for what you believe in. This next year is going to get very interesting to say the least as this “issue” has really gotten people to take sides as their beliefs are so deeply rooted one way or the other. Now you see why “certain devout passionate religious” people go out and try to “save the world”.

Best of luck to you on this endeavor...I will watch from the sidelines but if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call.

Andrew

Posted on 02/28/2007 at 10:26 PM

sarahlove says...

wow, finally, people who THINK!!

what a gift this site is and those that have brains to respond to the herd-free life.

sarah

.:.

oh, i have a comment on the whole Tilal and Tilak-frenzied loonies:

oh, i also have some things i can say about tilak… geezz… what a creep.

i feel so sorry for people who believe this guy. i used to live in sedona, az where someone sponsored him to come there. geez, its like the Capital of Charletons and Satscam! Totally!

and, i’m saying this out of a real passion for integrity and real truth.... i have been involved in the healing arts, or whatever you want to call it, since i was a child and i jus happened upon the “new age” crowd by way of my own work in the world. and i just can’t stand it. where are the brains in these people? gosh, its worse than people who go to be in the military because they don’t know what else to do. (sorry if that offends people).

oh, back to tilak.

womanizer, lyer, charmer for his own purposes… the list goes on. just beyond creepy and needing of real help himself.

i just dont get how people support and promote this guy. weird.

we humans need so much help but not from this guy.

how we’re ever gonna grow up, i don’t know but i’m working on it myself. that’s about all i know.

S

Posted on 03/01/2007 at 05:57 PM

Ronald Nzimora says...

Hi Blair

Thank you for your article. It was so funny! And so was the post by Connie.

I suggest that you put The Nine Steps of the Law of Extraction in DVD format and sell it for $97, ha ha ha.

Or dont you want to be a New Wage “guru”?

Well thank you for being one of the few that tell the truth, always.

I love you

Posted on 03/07/2007 at 04:54 AM

brian says...

Blair,

You have just communicated the business model applied by most information marketers targeting:

Get rich quick (real estate, investment, make money online) AND
Self development/enlightenment
markets. Refer to infomercials and online marketing programs.

This reveal (while admittedly not yours) means you have now perhaps unintentionally leveraged the “let me show you something magical” tactic of magicians and authority figures that have gone before.

Judging by the comments so far - it’s working, whether intentional or not.

This is fun.

Posted on 03/10/2007 at 07:09 AM

Boogie Man says...

Want to see a real-life idiot that thinks he’s a guru?

Check out the url posted in my link.

“Think it and ye shall become” should be his motto.

Posted on 04/26/2007 at 07:23 AM