To create powerful material, you must be honest.  To sell a lot of material, you must be full of shit.  Do both, and you’re a genius.

Until we embrace the theatre of life, we will be no match for the brutality of life.

Since I can’t seem to take my own advice, I’m going to stop offering advice.  And if you were smart, you’d do the same.

Try as you might, you will never dissuade me from believing in the power of sheer stubbornness.

A sense of humor may be no match for reality, but if it fights like a girl and lands a lucky shot here and there, I wouldn’t bet against it.

When life deals you a big pile of shit, throw it at people who stare at you.  That’s what monkeys do and they always seem pretty happy.

You can go a long way with honesty.  You can go a lot farther with honesty and a joke.

I believe almost everything in life has comic potential.  My goal is to find it, take a hit, then pass it along to the next guy.