It’s only a matter of time

True story…

This afternoon I decided to mow the yard. But the lawnmower wouldn’t start.

Thirty minutes later I gave up and decided to get after some weeds with our gas powered trimmer instead. But the trimmer kept stalling out.

Undeterred, I decided I’d at least spray some poison on the weeds. But the sprayer head was stopped up and would only dribble a little off to the side.

That’s when I took the hint. So, not knowing what might fail next I called it a night and vowed not to touch any more equipment until tomorrow.

Trouble is, now I have to pee and I don’t think I can wait that long.

Update, Tuesday, March 11:Loaded my broken lawnmower into the back of my truck to take it to the shop. Now my truck won’t start. No. I am not kidding. And in case you’re wondering, everything else seems to be working just fine. But, at this rate, how long do you suppose that’s going to last?

Posted on Monday, March 10, 2008 at 07:44 PM

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(12) Reader Comments about It’s only a matter of time

John says...

Har, har...har!

Posted on 03/10/2008 at 08:58 PM

Greg says...

Thanks for the laugh. I needed that. Just on the edge of toilet-humor. LOL!!!

Posted on 03/10/2008 at 09:23 PM

Jason says...

I had to laugh, good one.

Posted on 03/10/2008 at 09:32 PM

Melissa says...

No comment on that one, to be sure.

Posted on 03/10/2008 at 09:36 PM

Blair Warren says...

A friend just asked me why I posted this. Was it for a little comic relief (no pun intended) or am I actually trying to lose readers?

My answer is, both. And then some.

Yes, it was meant to be in good fun. And, if some people are too uptight to laugh a little, they’re probably better off reading someone else’s work. As I’ve said elsewhere, I’m tired of writing on eggshells and, for better or worse, I plan to reveal more and more of my “charming” personality here as we go along.

But there is another reason for my posting this story. A serious one, in fact. And I’ll write about it soon enough.

For now, though, I’ll just let this post speak for itself. I have enough to worry about already if you know what I mean.

Posted on 03/10/2008 at 09:57 PM

Jerry says...

Reminds me of the old phrase:

“Its much easier to ride the horse in the direction its going...”

Posted on 03/10/2008 at 10:44 PM

Eric Louviere says...

haha…

equipment, as in “Power Drill”

...nevermind

Posted on 03/10/2008 at 11:37 PM

Mark C says...

Hopefully the other equipment isn’t dribbling like the sprayer head!

Posted on 03/11/2008 at 07:27 AM

Carol says...

That was too funny Blair.

That’s what you get for not believing in the Law of Attraction. Then again, maybe you do!

just kidding.

Posted on 03/11/2008 at 08:27 AM

Tom Welsh says...

Loved this.....took me a few hours to actually see it though cause I have been having computer problems. Or is it with my ISP? Something......

Posted on 03/11/2008 at 01:14 PM

Sue Crocker says...

Blair.. remind me to tell you about two people I knew who died after mowing their yard. A dead truck is better than a dead Blair.

Posted on 03/11/2008 at 03:05 PM

Lark says...

This reads like it’d make a great sales letter intro for the “Unabomber Manifesto”, Blair - if you couldn’t read it for free online already. However much the dude disliked technology and was fearful of Man’s future use of it… for me… I just normally fear operating machinery, period.

Of course, I do respect a guy who mows his own lawn…

Though come to think of it, I’ve never been able to figure out why suburbanites obsess so much about high-maintenance, grassy lawns anyway. Maybe if I could harvest the stuff and eat it I could wrap myself around the whole idea better!

But then, I guess if one were to keep a horse or two we could all substitute growing alfalfa instead - wouldn’t you think that might work out a whole lot better?

As for the pick-em-up letting you down…

... So much for progress and cheap oil!

Posted on 03/12/2008 at 12:36 AM