Still here - kinda, sorta
Hey. Remember me?
I figured I better poke my head up and make a quick appearance here lest you think I’d vanished for good.
I appreciate all the feedback I’ve received with suggestions about my blog.
About 100 people responded and more than 90% of them suggested I keep doing what I’ve been doing. Who knew?
Quite a few suggested I make it easier to find posts on specific topics so I’ve added a “tag” module to my site that should help. So far I’ve only tagged a couple of dozen posts but will tag all new posts and even most older posts as time permits.
One major issue I’ve struggled with is how open I should be on this blog. I have not only lost money due to some of my posts but I’ve also received quite a bit of advice from would-be shrinks. And while I appreciate their concern, I’m not looking for this type of advice and it’s making me wonder if at times I’ve been a little too open for my own good.
The trouble is, I don’t know any other way to write. I either bring everything I have to what I write or I can’t write. And I mean that literally. Read into that what you will.
Anyway, I’m feeling the itch to start blogging again and will definitely do it here when the time comes.
Till then, thanks for sticking around. I hope to have more crooked wisdom for you soon.
Blair
P.S. I am no longer using twitter. Though I love the service, I found it was more of a distraction to me than anything else. But then, my Halle Berry poster in my office is also a distraction and I’m not taking that down. Go figure.
Posted on Friday, May 16, 2008 at 10:19 AM
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Will you answer one question for me?
I’m still trying to figure out what to do with my blog.
I’ve discussed it with a number of people and have received many good suggestions.
But before I make any final decisions, I’d like to ask you one “big picture” question:
Is my blog too scattered for you?
In other words, should I focus on one or two particular subjects (e.g. persuasion, marketing, etc.) or do you like that I write about a wide variety of subjects?
I’d appreciate it if you would take a couple of minutes and shoot me an e-mail with your thoughts. I promise to read and reply to each one.
Thanks in advance.
Posted on Sunday, April 13, 2008 at 08:44 PM
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Back to basics
I have removed the comment feature on this site and have added a “do not expect a reply” note to my contact page.
There are two reasons for this. The first is undeniably selfish. The second is, hopefully, less so.
First, I have become acutely aware that I suck at socializing - both online and offline.
It isn’t that I don’t enjoy it; it’s that it derails me.
When I respond to comments and e-mails, I’m not writing content. And when I don’t respond to comments and e-mails, I feel bad for not doing so and, as a result, I find it difficult to write content.
Yes, I realize other writers have found a way to make this balance work. But I haven’t.
And second, I think it is unfair to my readers for me to encourage them to respond to my work if I am not willing or able to do so in kind.
So from now on it is back to basics around here.
My twitter updates will continue - for now at least - though I’m using it less for networking purposes and more to help clarify my thoughts.
P.S. I am considering a few other changes as well. For example…
Scrapping the slogan, “Deep thoughts for shallow times.” Given the nature of what’s popular these days, that slogan probably wasn’t one of my better ideas.
Making this blog - or maybe a portion of it - private and limiting access to a small number of readers. Maybe 25 people or so. This would allow me to be more candid and hopefully reduce the risk of suffering collateral damage as a result of something I’ve written. And yes, I’ve suffered quite a bit of collateral damage here. Especially in the last year or so.
And finally, a doomsday scenario. I’m considering killing off this blog entirely and taking the lessons I’ve learned and starting over from scratch. Possibly with another domain name and even writing under a pseudonym. I have a friend doing this with great success. And I must admit, the phrase “great success” has a certain appeal to me.
Stay tuned.
Posted on Sunday, March 23, 2008 at 07:48 PM
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The Way and the What
I don’t care much about what people are.
Gay/straight. White/black. Conservative/liberal. Religious/agnostic. Christian/Muslim. Young/Old. Rich/Poor. Smart/dumb. Etc.
I have friends in each of these categories and then some. Heck, I’m in a few of these categories myself.
Again, I don’t care much about what people are.
But I care a great deal about the way people are what they are.
Let’s take a hypothetical person: Mr. X.
Mr. X happens to have one of the personal characteristics listed above. Which characteristic isn’t important. Take your pick.
Now, do I like him?
How am I supposed to know? I don’t know anything meaningful about him.
Do I hate him?
Again, how am I supposed to know? I don’t know anything meaningful about him.
As I said, I don’t care much about what people are. I care about the way people are what they are.
Now, let’s say Mr. X uses this personal characteristic to define himself as a person. No problem there. But it doesn’t stop there.
He then uses this characteristic to divide the world into us and them, good and evil. If you happen to share his characteristic, you’re good. If you don’t, you’re evil.
Now, ask me again.
Do I like him? No. I think he’s a dick. Do I hate him? No. I just don’t want anything to do with people who use things like this to fill the world with more hatred and divisiveness.
It has nothing to do with race, religion, age, sexual orientation, or any other meaningless personal characteristic. It has to do with repulsive behavior that is driven by a meaningless personal characteristic.
I don’t care what people are, what they believe, or what issues they think are important. I don’t care about these things. I care about the way people go about these things.
Why is this so damn hard for some people to understand?
If we want to encourage better behavior, we should start judging people based on their behavior.
But if we want to tear people apart, we need only stress meaningless differences and the unrest will take care of itself.
In fact, it already is.
Posted on Tuesday, March 18, 2008 at 09:51 PM
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Why we rarely finish what we start
Ever notice how many of us start things but don’t follow through on them?
We join the gym but never go.
...then, something terrible happens. The high begins to wear off and we realize we must do something to stop the slide. But what?
We buy a book but don’t read it.
We outline a book but never write it.
We sign up for a class but don’t attend it.
We start to renovate our home but don’t finish it.
You get the idea.
Why do we do this? Here’s my guess…
The “first step” in almost every process provides a psychological high that is literally addictive.
Most of us can’t get ourselves to take action until we’re utterly miserable. We can think about taking action. We can know we should take action. We can even want to take action. But until we’re miserable, we won’t.
But the moment our misery becomes too much for us, we’ll do anything to relive it.
We join a gym. We buy a book. We buy some sandpaper and paint. Whatever. And, as a result, we suddenly feel fantastic!
Why?
Because that first step lifts us out of total misery and gives us hope. It literally takes us from darkness to light. And that trip - between the two extremes of misery and hope - is a rush.
We want to continue working toward our goal, but we also want to retain the high the first step gave us. What are we to do?
We find ourselves wondering why it took us so long to act in the first place. And then we pat ourselves on the back. We tell our friends what we’ve done. And we suggest they make the same change in their lives. Come on in. The water feels great!
But then, something terrible happens. The high begins to wear off and we realize we must do something to stop the slide. But what?
We ponder the prospect of taking the second step toward our goal but are met with the sobering realization that it will never provide the psychological payoff that the first step did.
At best, the second step will inch us a little further toward our goal. At worst, it will inch us a little closer back toward misery since it reminds us how much work we still have to do. You mean there’s more to it than just the first step?
Now we have a problem.
We want to continue working toward our goal, but we also want to retain the high the first step gave us. What are we to do?
It depends.
If we really want to meet our goals, we suck it up and work toward them. But if we’re just junkies looking for our next psychological high, we turn our attention toward something else we’ve been miserable about and take the first step toward solving that problem.
We’re all junkies in this regard. It’s hard for us to admit this because we know that doing so would make us miserable.
Instead of going for our first workout at the gym, we go to the home improvement store and buy some paint. Instead of breaking out the paintbrush, we go to the store to buy a book. Instead of reading the book we just bought, we go to another gym and sign up for a membership.
And after a few decades of this we find ourselves on our deathbeds wondering why we never accomplished anything worthwhile.
Of course, we can always turn away from our lack of accomplishment and think about all the “great times” (i.e. highs) we experienced along the way. But that’s just another way of turning away from the real problem and doing another line off the mirror.
We’re all junkies in this regard. It’s hard for us to admit this because we know that doing so would make us miserable. But the good news is, the first step toward ending that misery is just as easy as taking the first step. Any first step. Go ahead. Try it and see for yourself.
Don’t ask me what the second step is, though. I haven’t gotten that far. You see, I’m as addicted to this high as everyone else.
I routinely start things and fail to finish them.
I buy books but I don’t read them.
I sign up for the gym but don’t go.
I start writing blog posts but don’t
Posted on Monday, March 17, 2008 at 11:19 AM
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