It’s only a matter of time
True story…
This afternoon I decided to mow the yard. But the lawnmower wouldn’t start.
Thirty minutes later I gave up and decided to get after some weeds with our gas powered trimmer instead. But the trimmer kept stalling out.
Undeterred, I decided I’d at least spray some poison on the weeds. But the sprayer head was stopped up and would only dribble a little off to the side.
That’s when I took the hint. So, not knowing what might fail next I called it a night and vowed not to touch any more equipment until tomorrow.
Trouble is, now I have to pee and I don’t think I can wait that long.
Update, Tuesday, March 11:Loaded my broken lawnmower into the back of my truck to take it to the shop. Now my truck won’t start. No. I am not kidding. And in case you’re wondering, everything else seems to be working just fine. But, at this rate, how long do you suppose that’s going to last?
Posted on Monday, March 10, 2008 at 07:44 PM
(12) Comments • Permalink • Printer friendly
Share Blair:
The Elmo Standard
My wife and I just saw a TV commercial for Ba-Ba Baby Elmo.
This is a doll you have to feed with a bottle and it makes slurping and burping sounds.
My wife said, “That’s the cutest thing.”
“You don’t think it’s cute when you have to feed me and I make bodily noises,” I said.
“That’s because you’re not Elmo.”
Posted on Sunday, March 02, 2008 at 12:23 PM
(3) Comments • Permalink • Printer friendly
Share Blair:
Put two together and watch what happens
What do you call a person who watches TV? That’s right. A TV viewer.
Next question.
What do you call two or more people who watch TV together?
Sorry. Wrong answer.
Don’t feel bad though. Almost everyone thinks “TV Viewers” is the right answer. But it’s not. Let me explain.
Consider this scenario:
A guy goes home, sits on the couch and thinks to himself, “I think I’ll watch some TV.”
So he does.
After a while, he turns the TV off and gets on with his life.
That’s a TV viewer. No argument there.
But when you put two or more of these people in the same room, something bizarre happens.
…messages that someone took great pains to craft go by without leaving so much as a scratch.
See for yourself:
Person 1: “Want to watch some TV?”
Person 2: “Sure.”
They turn on the television. Within 3 to 5 seconds person 1 says, “Look at that woman’s hair. It’s awful.”
Person 2 says, “She probably thinks it looks great.”
“Speaking of awful, listen to the dialog. Who writes this crap?”
“Yeah, let’s see what other shows are on.”
Person 1 changes the channel, then points to the TV and says, “Hey, I used to have a jacket like that.”
Person 2 says, “I don’t know why she’s wearing a jacket. It doesn’t look that cold.”
“Yeah. This is stupid. Let’s see what else is on.”
This goes on for hours. Channels are changed. Comments are made. And messages that someone took great pains to craft go by without leaving so much as a scratch.
I submit that these people are not TV viewers; they are TV commentators.
Put two or more people together to consume a piece of media and if they have an opportunity to talk amongst themselves at the same time, talk they will.
I am not pointing this out to be funny or to vent – okay, not solely to be funny or to vent. I am pointing this out because I think there’s an important lesson here for all of us.…if our media can be consumed by both individuals and groups, we face a similar dilemma. But few media producers realize this. As a result, even fewer are able to compensate for it.
In today’s interconnected world, we are all media producers. If we talk, we’re creating media. If we write, we’re creating media. If we create a PowerPoint presentation, we’re creating media. And if our media can be consumed by both individuals and groups, we face a similar dilemma.
For example…
There may be individuals willing to listen to our presentations, but put two of them together and they’ll no longer be listeners; they’ll be critics.
There may be individuals willing to visit our websites, but put two of them together and they’ll no longer be visitors; they’ll be commentators.
There may be individuals willing to watch our movies, but put two of them together and they’ll no longer be movie goers; they’ll be movie reviewers.
But few media producers realize this. As a result, even fewer are able to compensate for it.
With the millions of “critics” out there, how long will it be before they come across your site, your presentation, or your pet project?
And what will they be saying about it?
And how many seconds will they give it before they move onto their next target?
If we cannot control the environment in which our media will be consumed, perhaps the best we can do is is build in plenty of interesting things for people to talk about.
These are sobering questions to consider. But if we want to have any hope of being heard, any hope of getting our points across, they’re worth thinking about.
It is one thing to create media that is compelling enough to grab and maintain the attention of an individual. It is quite another to create media that can withstand the opinions and distractions of the many.
If we cannot control the environment in which our media will be consumed, perhaps the best we can do is is build in plenty of interesting things for people to talk about. Though we may not have their undivided attention, at least we have a fraction of it. And if we do this, maybe, just maybe, they’ll stick around long enough to absorb a bit of what we were trying to communicate.
Now, I know what you’re probably thinking about this post. It’s something like:
“This is all mildly interesting in that weird ‘Blair’ sort of way.”
Right?
Unless, of course, you’re reading this with a friend. In that case you’re probably thinking:
“Who writes this crap?”
“Yeah, let’s find some other bloggers we can make fun of.”
I understand; my friends and I often do the very same thing. In fact, we’re going to do it later day.
Heck, we might even stumble across something that you worked hard to create. Stranger things have happened.
Posted on Sunday, March 02, 2008 at 11:32 AM
(4) Comments • Permalink • Printer friendly
Share Blair:
Derailed. Again.
I’m finishing up a nightmare project for a client who I suspect has been trying to “finish me off” for years.
Though I’m making good progress, it is coming at the expense of my blogging and replying to the comments and e-mails of my readers. And for that, I apologize.
I should be back to my regular “irregular” schedule by early next week. So if you’ve tried to contact me recently but haven’t received a reply, you will soon.
Is that a promise or is that a threat?
I suppose that depends on what kind of messages I find in my inbox when I get back to it. I can hardly wait to find out; I love surprises.
Posted on Wednesday, February 27, 2008 at 12:45 PM
(4) Comments • Permalink • Printer friendly
Share Blair:
Marketing test - any takers?
Though I’ve bashed the Law of Attraction and The Secret for some time, I now realize it has been in vain.
It seems some people are going to spend their money on New Age ideas no matter how absurd some of the ideas may be. And if that’s what they want, who am I to stop them?
So - brace yourself - I’m thinking about switching sides. Instead of bashing these ideas, I thinking about selling them. But first I’m going to run a little marketing test to see if the idea is feasible. If it does as well as I think it will, I’ll probably get started right away.I will tell you what you want to hear. It makes no difference to me; if you want to hear it, I’ll say it.
Anyway, here’s the offer I’m making. Please let me know if you are interested.
For just half the price of what the other LOA gurus are charging, here’s what I’m willing to do:
1) I will tell you what you want to hear. Whether it’s “Anything is possible”, “The Universe is like a catalog”, “Feeling good is the most important thing”, “This is based on science”, “It’s really that easy”, etc. It makes no difference to me; if you want to hear it, I’ll say it.
2) I will provide anecdotal evidence to “prove” that the things you want to hear are true. If I can’t find stories that seem to prove these things, I will spin and/or create stories that will.
3) I will not disclose evidence I uncover that may disprove these ideas.
4) If you can’t get the first ideas to work, I’ll come up with new ones that probably won’t work either - for an extra charge, of course.
5) I will say all these things with a straight face and promise to never make fun of you except in private to my closest friends and associates.After you pay me, I’ll provide more “proof” the ideas work by showcasing all the great things I bought with your money.
And finally…
6) After you pay me, I’ll provide more “proof” the ideas work by showcasing all the great things I bought with your money.
That’s right. I’ll do all this for *half* the price the other guys are charging. But I’m only accepting a handful of students for this marketing test so don’t delay.
Operators are standing by.
PS. If credentials are important to you, I am willing to buy some to make my material seem more legitimate. When writing, please specify what degrees you’d like me to have so that I can order them online and have them delivered before we get started.
Posted on Sunday, February 24, 2008 at 04:22 PM
(29) Comments • Permalink • Printer friendly
Tags: law of attraction, the secret, humorShare Blair:
